Finding Yourself

I went on a trip. 

I was looking for things. 

I found them. 

Multiple things. 

While there, a dear friend asked me to send her a quote I had in my room. Its about finding yourself. And discovering more. On my trip, I found a part of myself...a part that I had kinda forgotten. 

"Don't worry about searching for who you are; focus your energies on creating the kind of person you want to be! You will discover that as you pursue that journey you will not only find yourself, but chances are you will be pleasantly surprised and proud of the person you find along the way."

- Joseph B. Worthlin

Sometimes you just need it

Sometimes you just need something wonderful to spruce up your life....this will probably be it.

My Favorite

Sitting on my hands

I went on a date. 

That happens periodically.

But very rarely do I enjoy the date soooooo much that I deeply hope for a second date. 

Actually, often I think, 

"Well, that was nice. He didn't do anything wrooooong, so I guess I would go out with him again."

Sometimes I get that opportunity, and when I don't get excited about it...

I just think there must be a twitter-pated switch that got turned off inside me.

Then I think like a girl, so I hemmmm and hawwwww over everything, and I decided there must be something wrong because he was a good guy...

THERE IS NOTING WRONG WITH ME!

My Switch Works!

I got excited about my date! For the first time in a while my little excited sensors started flashing!

And it was a good date (at least I thought it was).

And now I am sitting on my hands. 

My sensors are going, my face is glowing, and I smile when I think of something connected to the kid...

but I sit on my hands.

Because I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to be clingy. I don't want to come off crazy....

but by golly, TEXT ME ALREADY! ASK ME OUT AGAIN! anything!

My sensors are making all kinds of emotional noise inside of me....and the excitement is trying to manifest itself through the use of my independent and confident texting skills. Every time the sensor rings, my brave little ringers reach out for my phone, so I can contact him....

But I hold back. I sit on my hands. 

It is in his court. Melinda is going to be wooed. She will let him take charge. Even if it means having to sit on her hands. (Yes, I'm talking in 3rd person. I have the tendency to do that when I'm excited.)

She literally sits on her hands. She does. But she wishes she didn't have to. 

But to save herself from being too pushy or looking like a love struck fool, she sits on her hands....

....She is still sitting....

Still sitting....

Looking Up

Do you remember how distraught and heartbroken I was?

And how Heavenly Father sent helpers to lift me up and dust me off?

And then I found myself looking up...with more hope....more than I expected.

.....

I almost dismissed this.

I almost took it as a given.

I almost didn't see.

I almost missed it.

There are things to look up about. There is hope. There is joy. There are blessings. 

Oh,

there

are

blessings.

Yesterday I found out I had been awarded a full tuition scholarship for Spring/Summer terms. 

That means......

HECK! I don't even know all the things that means!

I have been saving money really strategically for MONTHS! When the school year started, I knew I didn't have enough to graduate. It just wasn't there. So I put away a few hundred dollars every month. 

(this is me totally bragging: that is a hard thing to do! putting away a few hundred, EVERY MONTH. 

AS A COLLEGE STUDENT!)

Well, all of that hard work has paid off....sort of. Because now I can use it for something else. I mean, I still have Fall Semester Tuition that I need to worry about, but I have it all. If I keep saving and going at it, maybe I can use the money to buy a car! Maybe.

I am looking up. 

I almost didn't.

I almost kept chugging along without expressing thanks.

I almost missed the biggest blessing that has been handed to me in MONTHS!

Thank you. Heavenly Father, thank you. I don't even have words. Thank you for helping me to look up. Thank you for showing me that blessings come. Thank you for allowing this blessing to come so soon after a distressing weekend. Thank you for uplifting my spirit, and lightening my load. Thank you for being good, kind, and loving. Thank you for opening my eyes to hope.

I am looking up.

My Motto

Look! BYU must have heard me say this around campus, and they adopted it!

The Cure