Happiness

The Wilkins Clan is planning to load everyone (and the dog) up and drive to California for Christmas. We will be going to Disneyland. (Mostly because Mom said one day that we should, so we are.)

I was telling someone how excited I was for it...and I was told sometimes I act just like my kids (students)...in relation to being giddy.

I quickly responded....

"Why not let that kind of happiness be a part of every day life? Happiness is the purpose of existence, so I try to embrace it however I can.

I like to savor the moments of:
- a giggling child
- the smell of something delightful in the kitchen
- the colorful array of flowers
- a simple joke that is quite clever
- the warmth of a beloved quilt
- a tender kiss
- a simplistically elegant instrumental song
- the warmth of men's voices singing

There is always something to treasure...something we can be happy about."

Hidden Wounds - September Ensign 2014

Since returning home from my mission, I have been continually exposed to the pain and reality of pornography in today's society. I have seen it take over the lives of people I care about. I have seen the pain of those indirectly affected. I have seen families become filled with hurt as they watch one they love struggle. I have seen the joy and beauty of the Atonement. I have seen the full spectrum of its influence.

I was reading through the September 2014 Ensign yesterday, and discovered something wonderful. It was a article for parents about teenagers and their exposure to pornography. It was very straightforward, and I greatly appreciated it. It is not a matter of if our children come in contact with pornography, but when. And when it happens, how will they handle the situation. How will we handle the outcomes? Will we act as the Savior would?

I was so impressed by the perspective presented in the introduction, that I wanted to share it. Even though I know there are a grand total of 5 people who actually read this, I want the world to know this was a big deal for me.

Hidden Wounds - By: Jennifer Grace Fallon
"In the great battle for the city Cumeni, Helaman tells of his 2,060 stripling warriors who 'fought most desperately' against their enemies (Alma 57:19). While 'there was not one soul of them who did perish' in battle, 'neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds" (Alma 57:25). Many of these teenage soldiers were so terribly wounded that they fainted from the loss of blood.

"These young warriors fought a battle that their parents could not fight for them, and they fought it because their society had been attacked. A similarly disastrous war rages among modern teenagers, for similar reasons. Today's parents can no more fight the spiritual battles for their youth than the people of Ammon could. But they can learn to recognize the spiritual wounds this war inflicts and arm their children with the knowledge and resources they will need to survive."



Wow. I wish I had seen it this way before. Maybe my heart would not have been so hard when this war appeared in my line of sight. Maybe I would have been more loving and courageous myself. Maybe judgements would be more Christ-like.

Changing Lives

I discovered this quote today....

I think it might have the power to change my life....

I'm afraid to let it...which is silly. I have to let go of my small amount of control, and let Him have it. I have to be vulnerable....

But if I am vulnerable, I might find what I have always saught.

“God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as he always has. But he can't if you don't pray, and he can't if you don't dream. In short, he can't if you don't believe.” 

― Jeffrey R. Holland

 

Tender Moments

Very rarely do I slow down enough to stop and calm my troubled heart. Or even slow down enough to ask for Heavenly Father to calm my troubled heart.

This morning, I fell on my knees and begged that my heart be calmed. 

And then I had a wonderful moment where I connected with Heaven. 

Thank heavens for tender moments, and tender thoughts.

(And surprisingly, thank heavens for these little quotes)

 

Something Amazing Just Happened!

Something Amazing Just Happened.

I was in the middle of my humdrum day, doing my normal humdrum teaching stuff...BUT I LOVED IT!

I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!

It just came to me.

And by the end of the day, it was confirmed again!

Today my math lesson with R and E was FANTASTICALLY fun. We started off with lots of fun energy....but then E decided he should be a detective. So we started acting everything out like we were detectives. (We had to whisper, use our magnifying glasses, and solve the case.) Then he decided he should be a cowboy detective (and he started using a cowboy voice). I then had to refer to him as Cowboy Detective E. (And R was Cowgirl R). But it got better! I did the entire rest of the lesson in my cowboy voice! And by the end of the Lesson, Cowboy Detective E was using his skills to look for Star Wars Droids!

BWAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love my job!

What should I do now?

Something has happened. My last mission buddy came home. What am I supposed to do on Sundays anymore? I don't have one of them to write? I feel slightly empty inside. There are no young missionaries still in the New Mexico Farmington Mission, who have met and served with me. None.

This is a sign that life moves on. And it keeps going forward. I can choose to move, or I can choose to dwell, and wish for days long gone.

I choose to move forward. To remember with fondness, but I have a new purpose.

I have new people to teach.
And they need me.
I like that they need me.

I can move forward. I can.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I learned this week, you should be careful what you wish for (verbally, and just in your head. (These all happened to be non-verbalized)

Wish 1: Oh please let 30 year old boy (who keeps inquiring about me) see me in public with another boy. Maybe even me hanging on that boy....that way I don't have to turn him down, but he will get the picture.
Answer: *To be explained later

Wish 2: Please let cowboy dance with me, and make me feel like the only girl in the world....and let it be GOOD.
Answer: Best looking couple on the dance floor, with people asking if we are dating.

Wish 3: If cowboy would just do something sweet already, I would be so happy.
Answer: Held my hand....and more to follow....

Wish 4: Good grief I feel sick. I can walk to my car, but I don't want to. It sure would be nice if giant cowboy decided to be a gentleman and carry me to the car like in the movies.
Answer: Cowboy carried me to my car and kissed my forehead.

Wish 5: Ok, I'm not supposed to be thinking these things about Cowboy. I wish he would do something to help me see straight and realize he isn't for me.
Answer: Cowboy is NOT for me! Oooooh, that made me so mad what he did! Thank heavens for that answer!

Wish 6: I wish nice kid would get over the fact: "I'm not the one." Now there is no pressure to be my friend. And I don't have to stress about it, or worry about slowing him down. I wish we could be comfortable again.
Answer: Nice kid is willing to go to the parade with my whole family. Also willing to talk to me again.

Wish 7: I hope nice kid has a good time at the parade with my family. I hope this patches things up. Thank heavens he isn't interested anymore, because now this can just be simple.
Answer: Nice kid has a fantastic time.

*Too fantastic of a time...*

?Remember Wish 1: Public display of affection to ditch 30 year old......?
Answer: Nice kid holds my hand in PUBLIC! What?!?!?!? Didn't see that one coming! Also, don't know what to think or say or do or wish now.

NO MORE WISHING. No more thinking. What's the point? Life will just throw you a curve-ball anyways!