Motherhood isn't for wimps

I wrote this essay for my Advanced Writing class. It was supposed to have emotion and be persuasive, but written to the audience of Newsweek (so no LDS perspective). I like it so much I just wanted to share.

I am a driven person. I have goals. I have aspirations. In high school everyone knew I was going places. I attend an elite university. I have an A- grade average. I am tough. I overachieve. I can do hard things. But when I tell someone my deepest desire and goal in life, they scoff at me. Scruntch up their face. Blank stare. Walk away.

Why isn’t my goal good enough? Why do people think I am limiting myself? It is a “real” job. Isn’t it the toughest job on the planet? Motherhood is not for wimps. It is not for the faint at heart. It is not an excuse to escape the corporate world. It is not subjecting oneself to be less of a woman.

Being a mom does not simply mean bearing children, cleaning house, folding clothes, preparing lunches, or chauffeuring kids around town. It is the day in, day out tasks that keep a household running. It is being the optimist, cheerleader, and believer. It is nurturing the body and soul of another human being. Being a mother involves being a teacher, nurse, maid, philosopher, coach, seamstress, chef, organizer, therapist, body guard, and business woman. How many “real” women actually fulfill all those careers in a lifetime?

We need mothers in this world. Women to clean up throw up from the bed, down the hall, and splattered across the bathroom floor. Women to keep a calm face and stand firm as their toddler attempts to push the limits. Women to hold their sons’ hand with a stiff upper lip as a doctor sews his shredded skin together. Women to teach their teenage daughters virtue and grace, and their sons to recognize and acknowledge the value of such a woman.

I am not picking a generic or easy goal. I choose the hard road. I choose to give up sleep and privacy. I choose to bake 6 dozen cookies to help a fundraiser. I choose to struggle and fight until the Eight Times Tables are memorized.

I will be sick and miserable for months, knowing more struggles are soon to follow. I will bring myself to the gates of death, in effort to welcome a life. I will sacrifice my body and mind to take care of another person.

But I also choose to smell the sweet aroma of a clean baby. I choose to pull the sweaty curls away from my sleeping toddler’s face. I choose to have my daughter run to my arms after school. I choose to see my son’s surprised face at perfect birthday cake. I choose to watch my child grow and implement what I’ve taught them. I choose to see my daughter’s eyes glitter and her smile dance as she tells me of her first kiss.

I find beauty in the snot stains on my favorite blouse; joy in the scissor cuts on my grandmother’s quilt; humor in the scattered toys creating a wondrous city; and peace in the tattered bear and much loved blanket.

I see potential. I see an actress, an astronaut, and an accountant. I see their future: bright and free because I created a world for them to dream.

I choose motherhood. Not because it is what my body is built to do, not because it just happens. I choose motherhood because it is hard; because it the road less travel; because it will require every drop of physical, mental, and emotional strength I have; because it is the most honorable and noble title a woman can ever have. Mom.

Acts of Kindness

I love BYU! I was rushing up to campus and was a block away from South Hill. I noticed a car pulling through the stop sign, but it was really slow. Then I realized the driver was outside pushing the car, and trying to steer it at the same time.

Out of nowhere 3 young men come running from 3 different directions. They all get to the car at the same time, and start pushing. The man didn't notice until he let go, and the car kept moving. He was so surprised that people were aware of his plight, let alone willing to help without being asked.

I love that people see a need and just jump, or in this case run.

No Doubt Della is a Wilkins

I was running errands with Della the other day. As I put her in the booster, she pointed out a curvacious lady across the way.

"Do you see that lady with the truck?"

"Yes Della, what about her?"

"She's falling out of her clothes."

She said it so matter-of-factly; this was no observation, but sheer truth.

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't know how to dress."

And she just left it at that. Man, I love that kid!

Sooooo Long...

No, I didn't die. No I'm not deathly sick. No I'm not in a relationship and too busy to write. Life is crazy. School has taken over. I've not done anything interesting enough to take pictures of. Sorry, I'm a boring girl.

But I am alive.
Glad game: alive and smiling

Part Three: Cedar City

Ashlee's sweet grandparents let us stay at their home in Cedar City on our way back to Provo. They took us up the canyon for a simple morning hike. As we drove, we came upon this scene and Ashlee's grandfather insisted that we stop and appreciate it. I'm glad he did.

And I'm almost always willing to pose for the camera, so tada! Cute picture of me.

This is at the start of our hike to the waterfall. Look, we still like each other.


I'm not upset, I just like to make silly faces. If any of you have ever traveled with me before, you've seen this face many times.

I jumped on the rock, and Katherine snapped this picture. I actually really like it despite the fact I was starving and as sweaty as ever.

This is us at the waterfall outlook. Sorry no actual pictures of the water. (They didn't turn out as cute)

We kept driving and went to Brian Head and this way cool canyon (I forget the name, but its something important). No one wanted to jump on this fence and take the picture, but I got 3 surprised "Thank you, that was a really good idea"s. And the photo turned out really well too.

This is our illegal shot. We went to the Shakespeare Festival and saw Much Ado About Nothing. We weren't supposed to take pictures of the stage, but we didn't know that at this point. It was a great trip, and Ashlee's family will be blessed forever for being so hospitable and loving towards us.

The Rest of the (California) Trip

So the rest of our time in California was wonderful! We hit up the beach and I finally got to boogie-board this summer! We were all smiles and a little camera-happy. Here is us at the beach, later that day going out for frozen yogurt, and Sunday morning before church and the long drive to Cedar City.



I've always wanted to be buried: the girls grumbled at first when I asked them to help, but they eventually got really into it. Sharla especially liked tickling me with her toes, and I couldn't do anything about it.

California girls wearing happy colors...


and Utah girls with black. (Personality differences are apparent)


But put us all together and we are pretty stinkin' cute!


Definitely cute, even from living out of a suitcase for a week.