Last night I was reading a church related book before bed...and I realized I had been so busy for the last two months, I had really never given myself the time to ponder. I would push and work and trudge forward, doing the things Heavenly Father had told me to do.
I made time for the temple. I read my scriptures daily. I did my visiting teaching. I did the THINGS. But I did not give myself the time to ponder and think.
"Heavenly Father, I have tried to do all that you have asked. But I have starved myself in a way. I feel like I get little sips of the spirit every morning during scripture study, but I never feel that thirst quenched. I feel slightly hollow...even though I am doing all the right things. I promise, as soon as I get this last research paper and final done, I will take the time to slow down. I promise. I just need you to help me push through now. Help me to power through. Help me to get the sleep I need to stay focused and get my paper done today...."
I went to bed, ready to be proactive with my next day. I will get up at 6am...I will go to the library before work. I will not waste His time and resources He is providing me with. I will show Him I am thankful for His help.
I woke up at 8:30.
What have I done?!?! I wasted what he gave me!
Well....I can't do all of those wonderful things now. I will study some more today. Not only will I read my scriptures, but hey! I will read a conference talk too! I can't make up for the lost time, but I can do something good with it.
Lost Time....
No
He was giving me time.
He gave me time to be alone at home, to have silence. To have time to ponder. Time to pray. Time to reflect. Time to give my burdens over. Time to feel love.
Time to feel the thirst quenched.
He gave me time, by taking it away.
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