The "Tenders"

So, if my new focus is finding the Tender Mercies in my life, then I will start catolouging them.

Here are a few.

1. I am a stinking good Mary Poppins! 

Tender Mercy: I won the costume contest. Free Lunch at Costa Vida!!

2. Elder Huff, one of my favorite missionaries of all time, knew I was having a tough time, and today I got a surprise package with a friend inside! He sent me a minion, because he knew I needed a friend to cheer me up. 

Tender Mercy: sweet and thoughtful friends

Tender Mercy: cute minions

Tender Mercies

Maybe you have noticed, maybe you haven't....but I have been struggling with some serious elements of life recently. I try to fake being happy all the time, because I have this silly mental complex where I feel like I need to be miss peppy for everyone ALL the time. HA! So not possible. But this silly brain of mine tries anyways.

This week I started reading the Book of Mormon again, and it has sent a flood of mission memories: reading with companions, studying with investigators, and powerful revelations received.

I remember 2 similar instances. I remembered studying 1 Nephi 1 with Sister Maynez and Sister Isaacson....in both instances, they were both struck by a comparison I made to Nephi's life. Nephi opens his first chapter with life is tough, but the Lord has blessed me. He closes the chapter with life is tough, but the Lord blesses me.

1 Nephi 1:20 - "...But Behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

I have been thinking extensively about tender mercies. The natural man wants to wallow in self pity, but the celestial element within me wants me to look for blessings, mercies, and things to be thankful for.

Most of the time, the natural man has won.

I keep putting up walls and refusing to see the good, because I want to mope....

...which is a stupid idea. I don't recommend it.

Today I could not fight it any longer.

Why?

I got 2 sandwiches.



Sandwiches? What?

Yup.
2 Sandwiches changed me.
I can't ignore all of the blessings in front of my face anymore because of 2 sandwiches.

The blessings have been EVERYWHERE...but I have been a stinker and have refused to acknowledge them.

Today I bought a single sandwich from the vending machine before class....the coils twisted one rotation, but it didn't fall. After years of experience, I know the BYU machines have sensors that tell the mechanism to twist again....

It twisted twice....and 2 sandwiches fell.

2.

1 for FREE!

Blessing.
Tender Mercy.
Slap upside the head.

I get it.
"There are blessings in your life. Knock off the moping! That's stupid! I am still here for you! I never stopped watching out for you! You don't see it now, but this is all a blessing. Trust me you silly girl. I am still here. Open your eyes, and you will see my hand in everything."

My eyes are open.

"I'm sooooooo confused"

In high school my mom said my theme for life should be:

"I'm so confused"....

She was right.

I am still confused. I hate being confused.

I like having a plan. (Boy oh boy do I like having a plan. Anyone who knew me as a child must be laughing profusely at this moment)

I like to know what is going to happen.

I ask Heaven for answers.
I receive answers.
I have more questions.
I ask more questions.
I receive more answers.

But I can't see how those 2 sets of answers go together. And I don't see the whole plan...

...so I get confused....
like right now.

I am confused...
and then I get frustrated...
and then I cry...
and then I feel like a silly girl...
and a boob....

and I think of a joke from Farmington where someone said, "Don't worry, we like big boobs."

And then my mom buys me chocolate...and puts me to bed, and it starts allover the next day.

I'M 23. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE IT ONE DAY WITHOUT FREAKING OUT!!!! Its just a plan.....that I don't know. Good Grief!

:)

Power

Lauren always pins dancing links on Pinterest.

Always.

And then I start you tubing video clips...

And I find treasures.

I just discovered one of the most beautiful dances I have ever seen.

I want to share this beautiful moment in time with you.

There is pain. There is beauty. There is life.

"ability"

I heard this quote in my Old Testament class today, and I wanted to share it with you.

Neil A. Maxwell: "God does not begin by asking about our ability, but only about our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, he will increase our capability."

Hope

Did you have a wonderful weekend? Because I certainly did.

It has been a weekend of answers, hope, and peace.

I was reading last month's LDS Ensign magazine, and found a quote I wanted to share with you. When someone has a question about their future, hope can be the segway to peace. It can lead to looking up instead of looking down. This weekend I felt hope. It was beautiful. And the peace that followed can only come from on high. 

I plead with you to be hopeful. Why? This is why:

"Research demonstrates that hopeful individuals make healthier lifestyle choices, recover from illness and injury more effectively, and experience increased life expectancies. They manifest less depression and anxiety, find greater purpose in life, and experience improved mental health and increased life satisfaction. They persevere when barriers arise, are more effective problem solvers, and adapt when circumstances warrant it. They are successful in finding benefits from adversity. They enjoy more positive relationships and seek and receive social support. Hopeful students experience enhanced academic success."      (Vaughn E. Worthlin)

If you would like to read the entire article, click here.