Yoga Pants

1.M.of.A #5

Yoga Pants.

Do you understand the magic of them?

(Watch this video....it explains it all)

I love my husband, because he knows how much I love yoga pants.

And he knows the look on my face, when he walks in the door, and see's my need for yoga pants. He kisses me sweetly, and then turns me around, about-face, and walks me to my room. He says one sentence.

"Put on your yoga pants sweetheart."

It is one of his most magical sentences.

Usually, as I exit our room, all yogo-panted-out, I run into him in the kitchen. Then he says his second sentence to me...

"What am I making you for dinner?"

See, they are magical pants.

How Much Do You Love Me?

1.M.of.A #4

I have the tendency to forget things, and to be a bit needy.

Alex has learned, that if I call out for him, and ask, "How much do you love me?" ...that he should just answer, "What do you need sweetheart?"

He is so good about being willing to help with whatever I ask...even when its absolutely silly (or as he would call it "ridiculous").

Thank you for rolling your eyes, smiling, and doing it anyways.

(Another Honeymoon pic...This time at the beach on Camano Island...where I fell in love with Washington.)

Nightmares

1.M.of.A #3

Most of you probably don't know that I have frequent nightmares. They vary exceedingly. Sometimes I wake up thrashing because snakes are biting my feet. Sometimes my dreams have so many finite details that I can't tell what is real life and what is dream. Quite frequently, those real life dreams are like the cartoons, where you wake up within your dream, within your dream...and you can't tell if you are actually awake or if you are awake in a dream.

Last night was a bad night. I "woke" up at 3 am frazzled, stressed, and confused about reality. I tossed and turned for half an hour, and then tried to sleep on the couch so I wouldn't disturb Alex, who had a final at 7am.

When his alarm went off, and I wasn't in the bed, he knew where to find me. Even hours later, I was still quivering and having a hard time getting my reality straight. He immediately and tenderly started to calm me down.  I love Alex because he does not get frustrated or fed up with me. He calms my nightmares like he has had practice doing it for a lifetime.

Sunday Lovin'

1.M.of.A #2

Today we had the same lesson in Elders Quorum and Relief Society....and we both thought to share the same thought about Forgiveness and Marital harmony....

Alex WILL NOT fight with me. He told me when we were dating that he wouldn't, and I didn't think we would actually make it through the first year of marriage with that statement still being true. We have not had a fight. Disagreement, yes, but never arguing. He is calm and patient. He knows when either he or I need time to cool down alone, and he knows what to say to help me see that I'm being unreasonable. He is incredible.

One Month of Alex

Alex insists that I don't ever blog anymore...aaaaaaand, he might be a little right, because I haven't posted in 6+ months.

(But with that in mind), he won't check this blog until I tell him to.

(Honeymoon in Washington)
I love this sweet man. So much. He tricked me into falling in love with him, and thank heavens he did. He surprises me every day with his love and adoration. I want to surprise him with mine.

April 23 marks one month until our 1 year anniversary...

...Every day for the next month I will post a reason why I love him.

If any of you (the three of you who read this) tell him, you will have me to deal with.

One Month of Alex
1.M.of.A #1
I love his cute little smile when he is pleased with me, or when he is happy to show me something.

Emotional Collateral

Its been a long time since I've written on the blog.

I graduated.
I finished my Teaching Internship.
I freaked out and almost canceled my wedding.
I moved forward anyways.
I got married, and was sooooo thankful that I did.
I fell in love with the Pacific North West.
But more importantly, I fell in love with my Husband.

He is my rock. I didn't realize he was...but he is. He has been solid when I am not.

And most of time...I am not.

Only very few people know how much I've been struggling. (Maybe only my spouse, my mentor at work, and my Heavenly Father truly know.)

I'm struggling.
I hide it.
At least, I try to.

It wasn't until this morning, that I realized what I have been hiding from myself.

Life is busy. There are high expectations at work. Being a newly wed will open your eyes to adult responsibilities. Large dinner parties with little space. No Dishwasher. Leaking sink. Carpets need cleaning. Bills, needs, wants.

Normal stuff.

But if it were only normal, I wouldn't be a secret mess.

Grandpa has cancer. Its hard. He's my biggest example. Always has been.

Its worse then we thought.
Members of my family are starting to really see the reality. They are taking it hard. You see the stress. You see the pain. For a tough family, there are an awful lot of tears.

Except I'm not crying. I don't feel it. I don't feel the depth of it.

Why?

Because I should.
And I wish I did.

I realized today why. I am so stressed from life, that I have shut myself down. I don't have the emotional collateral to invest in this life changing time. I don't feel much, because there is too much to handle. There are so many areas pulling at me, that if I did invest emotionally, I would completely shut down.

But there's too much to do. I can't shut down.

So... I rely on my rock. He holds me together when I think I'm fine, but he knows I'm not. Actually he holds me when I cry, and lets me use his shirt instead of a tissue. He reminds me to take time for myself, when all I want to do is check things off the list. He reminds me it will be ok if Grandpa leaves. He testifies to me, he prays for me, and he reminds me to be thankful for Eternity.

 (isn't he cute? he just happened to look up at the right moment)

Love him.

I don't know why I worried. This is what eternity looks like: being surrounded by those you love.

Teaching In Primary

No one may ever see this link, but yesterday I learned about the most wonderful resource on LDS.org.

I am a Special Ed Teacher, and working with children who have disabilities is a part of my daily life. Yesterday my professor showed us an incredible resource for individuals serving in the Primary. Church is trying to be increasingly aware of the needs of its members who have disabilites. And with that, the Church is also trying to help others understand and serve the one better.

This site is specifically for teachers in Primary who work with children who have disabilities. It can be overwhelming and stressful to have a student with a disability in your class. Its ok to say you are lost or don't know how to help. But if you use this site, it will help you to have more information at your fingertips.

https://www.lds.org/callings/primary/leader-resources/teaching-children/teaching-children-with-disabilities?lang=eng