yogurt

Have you ever watched one of those silly Yogurt commercials where the women on the screen seem to be having an emotional connection to the stuff on their spoon? I usually roll my eyes at them, because NOBODY reacts that intensely.

Wellllllllll, I thought nobody did.

Confession, I might have had a commercial moment with my yogurt this week.

I got sick. Really sick. I couldn't breathe, hear, smell, or taste. I didn't realize how much I was missing out on, until my ability to taste kicked back in....AND .... IT ... WAS ... BEAUTIFUL!

I my eyes rolled, but this time it was to the back of my head. I closed my eyes and saw/felt the color fireworks like in Ratatouille.

 

It felt as though the flavors were spilling across my tongue and I felt like every new spoonful I floated a little higher. It was thick, smooth, and beautiful.

(I may have turned on music and danced blissfully to the flavors being happily discovered in my mouth)

Grace

Every once and a while, you read a talk or hear a statement that changes your life. I experienced one this morning. I was reading in the September Ensign, and came across a talk by Brad Wilcox: entitled His Grace is Sufficient.

I have studied grace multiple times, but nothing as ever hit me so profoundly. Nothing has ever been explained this simple. And I want to share it with you.

"A young woman once came to me and asked if we could talk. I said, “Of course. How can I help you?”

She said, “I just don’t get grace.”

I responded, “What is it that you don’t understand?”

She said, “I know I need to do my best, and then Jesus does the rest, but I can’t even do my best.”

I said, “The truth is, Jesus paid our debt in full. He didn’t pay it all except for a few coins. He paid it all. It is finished.”

She said, “Right! Like I don’t have to do anything?”

“Oh, no,” I said, “you have plenty to do, but it is not to pay that debt. We will all be resurrected. We will all go back to God’s presence to be judged. What is left to be determined by our obedience is how comfortable we plan to be in God’s presence and what degree of glory we plan on receiving.”

DING! Right there. Did you hear that? The key to actions in this life and why we are asked to work and to change and to repent and to be the best we possibly can (or want to be), is all for that moment when we stand in front of Heavenly Father.

Why did I never see the simplicity and beauty of this before?

Please read the article.

Fathers and Daughters

Today I am sick. Nasty, want to stay in bed and sleep all day, kind of sick. 

But my dad called to check on me.

And then my sister had this video pinned on her board.

 

Is it wrong to want to do this for THE Father Daughter Dance?...the one all daughters look forward to...because I really want to do it!!!

"Rise to the Divinity within you."

- Gordon B. Hinkley

Perfect

There is a video I want you to watch. I tried to get it to upload here, but I couldn't quite figure it out. Its about individuals with Special Needs.

http://vimeo.com/mckayvideo/specialchallenges

We watched this video in class today....and it was PERFECT. I am supposed to do this. I am. I know it.

sitting

I may not have stopped mid stride to write this....but I stopped. (and I may have already been sitting....)

...but I sat...

and I wrote.

I have been different since coming home. I know that. I joy in that. I am thankful for it.

And every once and a while, I am reminded that I am very different.

Its a good thing.

I sat down in the Auditorium this morning. 

Devotional. Member of the Seventy. Good stuff. 

Enlightenment coming.

Waiting to start.

Reading a book....for class....

...on a woman who gives birth to an extreme preemie....

only 24 weeks.

And the reality of her life: Doctors, more doctors, needles, medicine, feeding tubes, oxygen, etc.

Her life is real. Her life is raw. Her life has true love, despite the opposition.

She is real. She is raw. She lives life, choosing to love the child who is different.

My heart pounds, it swells, it breaks, it rebuilds, it feels for this mother.

.....

And then the girls sat next to me. 

I am not like them. They are young.

Very young.

They sound young. They act young. 

At first I think in a slightly condescending way, "Freshmen"

I let it go, and try to keep reading.

But I can't. Because they are loud. And they are young. And they are LOUD as they talk about all of the young things they are doing. Are those things important? No. But to the girls, it is their whole world.

An then I am irritated.

DON'T YOU GET IT? THERE IS LIFE! IT IS REAL! IT IS RAW!

And you are talking about being young.

There is nothing wrong about being young. It is good to be there, care free and young.

But I am not young like them anymore.

And I am glad.

I am ready for real. 

For raw. For love. For forgiveness. For reality. For the Atonement.

I am raw. I strive for love. I seek to forgive and be forgiven. I try to live in reality. I see the Atonement.

I am not that young.

I don't want young anymore.

I am growing up.

It is a good thing.

Pause

I have moments, every single day, where I want to stop, mid stride, and throw my head back and yell at the sky:

PAUSE

and then I would proceed to sit cross legged on the ground (this is obviously a dream, because you all know my knees are far too messed up for me to sit cross legged comfortably), whip out a keyboard and start writing my amazing thoughts for this blog. 

I really do have good ideas. 

They usually come right as I am walking out of the McKay building...

but then I have class, or a long walk home, or a date with the library....

...and then the thought is gone.

poof

a whisp of something that would have been interesting

a taste of my inner hidden emotions

a sparkling moment in time

But instead, you get this. Non-enlightening.

Sorry. You got the fuzzy side of the lolly pop.

How interesting.

Second Day of Class.

Today we talked about humility, pride, and meekness in relation to learning. The teacher asked for a definition of Meekness. 

I raised my hand and said:

"To be meek is to be willing to learn, but learning with Humility. When Pride accompanies learning, it is all about how much more can you attain (more than others). When Humility accompanies learning, you are willing to learn in any way the Lord sees fit."

And then I discovered this on Facebook.